The Only One He Ever Loved
by CSIHuntermom
Summary: What happend after The Good, The Bad and The Dominatrix


The Only One He Ever Loved

Catherine walked into Grissom's office carrying two take-out boxes. One for her, her favorite sandwich- Turkey Club without bacon, and one for him, a Turkey Club _with_ bacon.

She put down the containers and rubbed her stomach as she heard it growl. The smell alone was making her ravenous.

"There you are," Grissom said as he walked in to his office spying Catherine sitting at his desk.

"I'm here." Catherine said back with a mouthful, "I'm sorry, I couldn't wait," She added.

Grissom frowned upon seeing Catherine with _his_ glasses on the top of her head, "Those are mine I believe," as he reached over and took them from her head, "these are yours," He handed the ones in his hand over to her.

They looked at each other for a moment then laughter came out of both of their mouths.

"I miss this." She said after calming her laughter. "I miss being here with you and laughing with you Gil." Her face became serious.

"I miss you too, Catherine." He said to her.

He smiled then she smiled then looked down at the piles of papers on his desk.

"I wanted to go over some budget numbers with you; Ecklie has been on me to make some sort of heads or tails of graveyard shift's overtime and expenses. You are much better at this stuff than I am." Grissom went on.

"But, I'm going to need my desk back." He smiled at her again.

"Okay", Catherine mused back at Grissom, "If I can get my self out of the way." She said as she stood up.

They both looked down at her stomach. She began to rub the bulge beginning to form from her belly, full of, not one, but two, growing babies.

"How are you feeling?" Grissom asked still looking at her belly.

"FAT," Catherine answered prompting a smirk from Grissom.

"Well, should we get started?" Grissom asked not expecting an answer. "Shall we?" He asked again handing Catherine a file folder as she sat down across from him.

They worked in silence as both Catherine and Grissom studied the papers in each folder. She began to separate folders in piles as they continued working.

They stopped only to take bites of their sandwiches or to ask a question, each giving only a short, succinct answer to the other's question.

Grissom's phone rang breaking the silence he and Catherine were currently working in.

"Gil…" A faint voice came across the line as he picked up the phone.

"Heather?" he questioned into the phone. "Heather, is that you?" He asked again.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called…." Her voice trailed off again.

"Heather, I'm here, talk to me." Grissom pleaded into the phone. "Are you okay? Alison, is she alright?" He asked as panic started to creep inside him.

"It's just…" her voice is quiet, "It's just I got this notice today… it says I need to…." She stopped suddenly.

"Need to what? What is it Heather?" His voice questioned again this time with concern and curiosity.

"Jerome" Her voice came back on the line.

"Jerome did what? What did he do?" Catherine heard the anger in Grissom's voice as she reached for a French fry from his container.

"Heather, I'll be right there." He said putting down the phone.

Grissom looked over at his friend Catherine. She is right; they have missed so much in each other's lives over the past year or so, more recently.

He looked at Catherine, now reclined in her chair putting her feet up on his desk. Her pregnant belly is a testament that she has moved on in her life. He wanted so much to see her happy. At one point in their lives, it could have been _his_ children she was carrying, but that has changed. Lovers have come and gone from their lives and yet, they still remained close friends. At least Gil thought so, until the last year. He vowed to be available for Catherine from now on. He never wanted to lose her.

"Remember that dopey look I told you about when you would mention Terry Miller?" Catherine chimed.

"Yeah, so what does that have to do with anything?" He retorted.

"Well, you have that same look now." Catherine answered.

"It's Heather, you get that look when you think about or talk to Heather. God Grissom, it's so obvious." Catherine smirked. "You know, of all the women, or lack of women in your life, Heather is the one…." Catherine's voice stopped.

"Yeah, I know." Grissom said hurrying past Catherine towards the door stopping to look at his friend.

"Go… go." Catherine waved her hands to him.

After he left his office, Catherine stood up and walked around the desk to his chair and sat down in it again.

She slid a take-out container over to where she was sitting and took a bite of a sandwich. She realized after taking the bite, she was eating Grissom's sandwich, the Turkey Club _with_ the bacon.

She picked up her glasses; or what she thought were her glasses and put them on her face to go through the paperwork again.

Catherine laughed to herself when she realized she had Grissom's glasses again and he must have picked up hers.

These kinds of moments are the ones she missed with her friend Gil Grissom. They had been close for many years. He helped her get into school, get a job at CSI and helped her become who she is. She can never repay him for what he has done for her, and she knows he will never ask.

It's something that is between them as friends, or more than friends, if there is such a thing. That kind of bond will never go away.

So much has happened over the past year. Catherine and Grissom did move away from each other and almost out of each other's lives. She never wanted that to happen either but it did.

Catherine looked at her ring finger on her left hand. A diamond solitaire ring sits on the finger symbolizing the promise of marriage. She found herself fiddling with it as she thought of her future husband. She rubbed her belly again as she felt her babies move.

"_I'll tell you _who wears the chaps in that relationship." Catherine mused sarcastically as she continued to rub her belly feeling more movement.

Now, the only person _she knew _he ever loved has come back into his life and more than anything; _she wants him to be happy too._

"So, am I hearing you correctly? Heather questioned Gil as they sat at her kitchen table.

"You want _what?_" She asked again.

"I think you did." Grissom replied. "A family, I want a family." He said.

"But, there were so many opportunities and _really now Gil, _you are…"

"51 years old" He butted in.

"I saw Catherine, I mean I see her everyday, and I'm…. I'm…. I'm jealous." He stumbled.

Heather fixed her eyes on Grissom's face.

"I'm not jealous in that _I _want to be the father of her babies, you know she is having twins; a boy and a girl, it's just I want a family. I want something more than the life I have made for myself. I want…. I want…" he went on, "I want this, to be here, with YOU, and Alison."

"I know is that I have wanted this, something and someone to come home to for awhile. It's something I can't explain, but it's a longing, a longing to be part of something and to know that I matter to someone and they matter to me."

Grissom sighed then continued, "Children are something I never thought about until recently. Last year, when I turned 50, I heard something inside me say that I wanted a child. My job is full of so much darkness and death. Children are the light that makes the world a better place. The innocence in their faces just 'gets to me' sometimes. I guess I want to know that _I_ will make a difference in a child's life."

"I'm sorry; I think I got a little heavy." He half-laughed as he noticed Heather's hand had slipped on top of his. He grasped it and smiled at her.

"But, what does this have to do with the petition from Jerome?

"Don't you see? We can be a family, you, me, and Alison." He started.

"Doesn't the petition say that you have to be married?" Grissom asked.

"Oh Gil, you can't be serious." She gave a weak smile.

"Why not, why can't I be serious?" He answered.

"Where do I start?" Heather commented back. "Let me ask you this, then, why would you want to marry me? Just so I could have guardianship of Alison? I told you, you are not my savior, you don't have to rescue me." Heather said as anger slipped into her voice. She pulled her hand away from his.

"I knew I shouldn't have called you." She muttered angrily.

"Heather," he reached for her, "I'm not trying to save you; I'm trying to …… save myself."

"Save yourself from WHAT?" Heather shot him an angry look, "from being alone all your life?"

Grissom watched her face as the anger turned to sadness as tears began to well in her eyes.

"Heather," he reached for her again, "I want to be here; you mean more to me than you know. I fell in love with you 6 years ago and I don't think I've stopped loving you. It killed me to know you were going to end your life when you couldn't see Alison. You are such a strong woman, I wanted to rush to you and rescue you but I knew you were better than that. You are better than that."

"You are the only woman I have loved." He whispered.

"Grissom," she answered, "what makes you think I want to marry you?"

"I don't know." He stated quietly.

Gil got down on one knee in front of where Heather sat at the table. He turned her chair to face him. She saw a hand fumbling in his pocket.

"Gil Grissom, get up off the floor." Heather demanded as she reached for his arms to help him up.

"No, not until I have done this." He firmly stated.

Instead of a box, or a ring, or a ring in a box, he pulled one of her arms towards him, he opened her closed fist and place a pin in her hand then closed her fist back up.

"It's all that I am Heather and I want you to have it. I want you to know this is what I am giving you, all of me, all that I am." Gil stated looking up at her as he scrunched his eyebrows together.

Heather took in a breath then opened her fist. A pin, A **PHI BETA KAPPA** pin sat in her palm. She released her breath and picked up the pin.

"In a long-gone era, I read, this is how a man would propose to a woman. He would give her his class ring or pin." Grissom started. "I know we are not 20 any more." he joked, "but this was important to me and I hope it's just as important to you.

"Please Heather, just think about it. I know I'm not your savior and I don't mean to be, but you opened up something in me that I never knew existed and I don't want to lose. I don't care about your past,_ you know_ I don't care about how you made your living, I don't care that you left Jerome when you were pregnant with Zoë, and I don't care about how you got out of jail. I know you don't sell your body and I don't think any other person in the world wouldn't have done what you did to Dr. Sneller… but I don't think I can live 50 more years without you."

Once again, Heather's eyes welled in tears.

"I can't say **NO** to you, I never could say **NO** to you. How am I supposed to say NO to you now?" She blurted out.

"Then don't." Grissom said getting up off the floor.

"I don't think I could if I wanted to." Heather smiled at Grissom.

"Somehow I always knew you would be in my life." Heather started. "I said long ago when I met you that I would be 'seeing you soon'. I didn't think it would be for the rest of my life"

"I never thought I would marry again either. We were young, but somehow it seemed like the right thing to do. I was young and pregnant and felt trapped. I left because I felt trapped under the societal restraints of marriage. I didn't want my life to be like that, so I did the only thing I could think of, I ran." Heather recalled.

"And now" Grissom asked, "do you feel like that now?"

"Strangely, no." Heather answered.

"Lady Heather opened up a part of me, the part of me that felt trapped I was free and uninhibited and I liked it. No, I loved it. Fulfilling other people's fantasies really made me realize who I am. She will always be a part of me you know." Heather said. "Yet, somehow I feel more alive and liberated than before now that Lady Heather and the Dominion are out of my life."

"Heather, I would never ask you to be someone you weren't. Lady Heather will always be a part of you, I know that. I would never ask you to give that up either." Grissom told Heather.

"So, then we are… we are …. Going to get married?" Grissom commented.

"I guess we are." Heather gushed to Grissom as she stood to meet him. "You know Mr. Grissom; you are the only one _I _ever truly loved."

"Jerome, what about Jerome?" Grissom asked as he moved closer to Heather.

He reached out and stroked her hair.

She closed her eyes, just like the first time he touched her in the Dominion.

"I never loved Jerome like I love you." Heather whispered.

**FOUR MONTHS LATER**

Gil Grissom stood nervously tapping his foot. His suit begun to itch in the lingering heat of fall in Las Vegas

"Relax Man." Jim Brass's voice whispered to him. "This will be over before you know it." Brass said trying to reassure Grissom.

Meanwhile, in a small room off one of the main chambers of the Clark County Courthouse, a _very_ pregnant Catherine tried to brush Heather's hair as she sat on a vanity stool staring blankly into her reflection.

"Heather, I can't help you if you don't hold still." Catherine struggled to run the brush through Heather's long dark hair. Catherine watched as Heather tapped her fingers then moved them to her face then away.

"God, do I sound like a mom or what?" Catherine joked.

She watched as a smile came across Heather's face.

"I just want it to be over, I want to go forward. I guess this is the part I have never liked about weddings, all the unnecessary arrangement for what??" Heather contemplated.

"So, what are you saying?" Catherine asked as she turned to look at Heather.

"I'm sorry, I'm just nervous. It's this entire proper Victorian, white-dress, virginal, bouquet of flowers idea of marriage that makes me question all of it in the first place." Heather replied.

"Hey listen, do you love him?" Catherine asked.

"Yes, yes I do." Heather answered startled at Catherine's question.

"Then it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks of how or why you get married. You, yourself were the one who challenged what 'normal' was anyway." Catherine rubbed her very large belly. "Do you really care what that petition says? If you love Grissom, then I wouldn't worry about it. Having Alison back in your life is just an extra benefit, am I right?"

"Gil Grissom loves you, that I know, Heather. You are the only one he ever loved. He wouldn't have even asked you if he didn't want to marry you. He's just not like that." Catherine winked.

Heather stood up and gave her friend Catherine a hug.

Catherine then helped Heather step into her white, silk, V-neck, spaghetti-strapped, wedding dress.

"You look beautiful." Catherine admired.

"Thanks, you don't look too bad either." Heather reached out to touch Catherine's stomach. "You look good in purple." Heather complimented.

"So, what do you say, let's get this over with. Plus, I don't know how much longer I can go without having to go to the bathroom again." Catherine added for some comic relief.

Judge Angela, who helped grant Heather part time guardianship of Alison, presided over the quiet ceremony. Catherine stood up for Heather and Brass stood up for Grissom.

As Heather and Gil turned to look at each other, he touched her face. She closed her eyes as she did every other time he touched her like that. She, still to this day, flashes in her mind, to the night 4 years ago in her Dominion when he touched her face for the first time. She knew then as she knows now, s_he is the only one he ever loved._


End file.
